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Just over six years ago my son lost his dad.  Mark wasn’t his biological father, but for all intents and purposes was the only person he ever knew of as a dad.  He died suddenly for reasons unknown and we found him on the couch one morning before work and school.  Since then we’ve develop a strong, new family together with Bryan and his two kids.  But I still wonder how much of an impact that loss has truly had on the trajectory of Dylan’s life.  He struggles, he isn’t perfect and he doesn’t get to experience the success that I really wish for him all the time.  I know a lot of that is within his own control but I just wonder…would it be the same if it weren’t for that day?

I don’t expect Mark and I would still be together.  Our relationship was changing and we were growing apart.  But Dylan might still have at least had him in his life.  I look at kids he was friends with back then and watch their success.  Proud, smiling families.  And I wonder and feel like he got cheated.  Like those should have been his pictures but the opportunity was taken from him.  Maybe it’s connected, maybe it’s not.  Maybe it would have all turned out the same regardless.  We’ll never know and I don’t think I’d want to know.  Because wondering hurts enough as it is…

Speaking of design inspiration…

 

I discovered this amazing shop from an original post by Tulle & Trinkets back in August of last year.  I was taking in some great table top and nursery designs on Sarah’s blog and somehow stumbled on this older post.  I was in love with this picture:

Copyright Tulle and Trinkets, 2014

 

Vintage stuff, candles and old books – a perfect vignette!  I knew right off the bat that I had an old measuring cup like that floating around the house, a random item left over from a bushel full of old, rusty kitchen gadgets that we picked up at The Cleveland Flea for $5.  I immediately recognized the orange enamel pourer as my mother had one when I was growing that we always used for syrup during a sit down breakfast.  What a great idea to turn these into candles!  Turns out there’s a lot more and they’re actually available to purchase from Antique Candle Works.  I’ll probably try my hand at one myself, but there are some great vessels from the shop directly that I’d love to get my hands on.

Wait a minute…what happened to the decorating shows?

Saturday morning I had an urge to settle in for a few hours of home decorating and crafting TV. My New Old House project was longing for some well deserved inspiration. While I perused the guide I noticed how completely my favorite line-ups have changed.  And it’s been like this for years now!!  I just never put it all together.  I guess I assumed that the real decorating and crafting shows were now on at some mysterious time when I happened to absolutely never be watching TV.  Looking at the TLC, HGTV and DIY line-ups now, though, drove home the fact that if this continues I will never again learn how to make 10 different holiday decorations from toilet paper rolls from Carol Duvall.  Nor will I watch neighbors get angry with each other because they allowed a decorator to convince the other to cover their fireplace and install a floor to ceiling climbing wall instead (“The ONE thing I said I didn’t want changed was the FIREPLACE!!!”).

All that we have today are people buying and selling properties or doing “crash” 2-day renovations.  Don’t get me wrong – I love the design style of Joanna Gaines.  I get design inspiration from watching Fixer Upper and Property Brothers and we’ve picked up loads of yard and garden ideas from Yard Crashers.  I really miss the how-to aspect of the old design shows, though.  Watching Christopher Lowell walk you through his step by step theory for designing the perfect space was what I looked forward to on a sick day from work, before I owned a DVR and could fill it up with countless episodes.  Then there was this AMAZING design style show on HGTV, which I unfortunately can’t even remember the name of now, where the host would walk homeowners through a series of selections for finishes, colors, etc and come up with their perfect design style.  I could pick up so many ideas!

Design on a Dime, Trading Spaces, the one where they would redocrate a room for under $500…..sure, there were some misses here and there and to watch them now they would probably be pretty dated, but to me there were so many more ideas – so much more to fill my design toolkit!  I always wanted to be an interior designer and these were my little windows into how I could make that a reality, even if it would just me in my own little corner of the world.

Now – the craft shows!  There is not a single crafting TV show that I can find today with the possible exception of Sewing with Nancy on PBS (I haven’t looked – I just assume it’s still on).  Before you could find kitsch crafts, sewing, a little bit of everything from Carol Duvall, knitting – even jewelry on the DIY network.  There was this magical thing called VARIETY.

Today’s saving grace?  Pinterest….where former decorating and craft show junkies turn for support and ideas in this generation.  Thank god – I will never run out of things to do with my toilet paper rolls again.

(Please note, I really don’t do crafts with my toilet paper rolls.  I did once try to organize my beads and jewelry supplies with them, but that’s another story.  A much less successful story.)

Mud Balls in the Basement

Bryan shared this with me this morning. I have a tendency to collect in a similar way – scraps of paper, ticket stubs, random colored wrist bands, etc. Since the fire I think it’s gotten worse. We lost a lot of family photos and memories. Many of the losses I don’t think have even been accounted for yet (they may never be). Reading this makes me want to start scrapbooking or art journaling again right now. It’s hard to realize that it’s the essence of a family or a person or a relationship, even just a moment in time, that you’re really trying to hold on to when you save that scrap of paper. The longer they sit – the further away that essence and story becomes if it can’t be captured in some manner.

edenstream.com - catherine whittier

I can’t seem to let go. It’s not so much the practical things. It’s the words scrawled on little slips of paper. It’s the cement-hard mud balls that were rolled up by tiny hands. It’s the heartfelt message on a Christmas tag. It’s the smooth rock from a happy shore.

Bereft of so many of my own childhood memories, I have always clung to little things. I’m so obsessed with not losing something meaningful that I have been known to dig through my children’s trash as they purge their bedrooms. “WHAT!! You can’t throw that away,” I gasp, as I snatch it and add it to my pile.

Now, don’t get the wrong idea, I’m not real big on ticket stubs or figurines.
It’s the more important things — like the little construction paper leaves we cut out at Thanksgiving time. Each of us would take one out of the basket, which sat in the center of the table, and write on it what we…

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Happiness Habit: Rename your Project

Go figure….I found a great book.  This one, Get in Done, focuses on moving beyond procrastination to fulfill your creative desires by taking it all just 15 minutes at a time.  It’s really something how much you can actually get done in 15 minutes.  What’s even more interesting, in my own life and I suspect in yours, is how many ways you can find 15 minutes.  Since I started reading this I started waking up earlier and grabbing some time before I had to get in the shower.  I started measuring what I wanted to accomplish each week, in regards to reading or being creative (even exercising) in 15 minute increments.  Just the main theme of this book has broken down a number of barriers for me.  And that is just the beginning of what it really has to offer.

One of my biggest takeaways to date was a great suggestion for motivation block.  As a creative person I’m looking for inspiration and fun in what I’m trying to do.  Yet when I would sit down to create a to-do list, or set my creative priorities, it would look something like this:

1. Start blogging again.
2. Sew myself some clothes.
3. Create new jewelry designs.
4. Finish household DIY projects.
5. Develop a plan for a floral and decor rental business.

Pretty cut and dry and rather direct if you ask me.  To the author’s point, sometimes we’ve been living with a project for so long that the name of it is now associated with a sort of punishment every time we think about it.  That was definitely my case.  I had wanted to start blogging again for a year.  Every time I sat down to think about restarting or revitalizing the blog, though, I was just frustrated and anxious about the fact that I ever stopped in the first place.  Her exercise in Get It Done suggests renaming your projects to give yourself a fresh, perhaps lighter and less oppressive, perspective on what you want to accomplish.  One step to it:  work swiftly and begin writing down a few possible fun, silly or sexy names for the project in question.  I discovered as I started that it didn’t take nearly as long as I expected to rename all my major projects.  One idea would turn into another, and into another and before I knew it I had EXACTLY the right name for each.

By renaming your projects to something fun and, sometimes, more meaningful it makes it less like work and more like creative play – which is exactly what artists and creators need to get inspired and get moving.  I haven’t started all of them yet, but when I stop to think about what I want to do creatively I get excited every time.  So, what are my new projects?

1. (re)making Moe:  Little did I realize that when I renamed the blog project it would actually inspire the new name for the blog itself that I had been searching for.
2. Rip It and Zip It:  Because my sewing aspirations involve not only from scratch/pattern sewing but also a lot of thrift and vintage redesigns it totally works.  Utterly cheesy? Yes.  But it feels far more fun than simply “sewing”.
3. Grammy’s Jewelry Box:  My grandmother has always been a HUGE inspiration for me.  She did everything.  I still have a small jewelry box (that was actually my grandfather’s) that I dig through just to reminisce.  I remember being little and digging through a big bin of my mother’s old costume jewelry for hours just taking in the pieces.  Man do I wish I had that bin today.  The name Grammy’s Jewelry Box wraps all of that into one simple statement for me.
4. Our New Old House:  When the restoration of our house was finished after the fire and we talked about moving back we called it our “New Old House”.  As a result, this project rename was way too easy.
5. Ultimate Garden Party:  This project really revolved around everything I love about decorating with flowers or decorating outdoor spaces.  I spent about a year working in a flower shop and I miss it frequently.  What I would love to capture through this project is that perfect outdoor space, for weddings or for parties, combined with the sense of a street-side flower market.  Exactly what is states – my ultimate garden party.

Renaming these projects didn’t just make it easier to think about working on them but it kick started my creativity overall.  I have continued to add idea after idea to each of these over the last 2 months since I took that one simple step.  Do you have a project your procrastinating on?  I can bet you it has a crappy, homework like name.  Spend just 15 minutes today – pick one and rename it.  The magic will follow on its own.

 

Original vs. Originality

The quote that I posted yesterday is written in sharpie marker under the carpet in my office at work.

It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation. – Herman Melville

I had the unique opportunity to put it there myself as we were dedicating our new office space.  While many of my co-workers were busy writing scripture all over the floor, I made my way quietly into the space I knew would be mine (while I am there at least) and chose this to be the inspiration for my time there.

When I went to find an image to go along with it I shouldn’t have been surprised by how similar they all were.  I searched originality, original, unique….all the same cookie cutter business graphics kept popping up.  I was hoping for a picture of a little mis-matched girl with big glasses and messy hair – that’s what original brings to my mind.  Maybe a throw back to Audrey or Marilyn driving down a winding road in a convertible wearing a head scraf, sunglasses and a big smile – they were unique.  I did find this little gem, though.  I think it proves the point well.

Don’t get me wrong – I don’t believe I’m original and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.  It’s really impossible at this stage in the game.  Do I think my life is unique to me and the choices I make?  Absolutely.  Do I believe I have something unique to share about how my eyes and mind perceive the world?  Yes I do.  But that isn’t original, that’s just my working definition of originality.  Nothing’s original, but applying, stealing and being inspired by everything that came before you – that’s originality.

A favorite quick read of mine is “Steal Like an Artist” by Austin Kleon.  I like to pull it out from time to time just as a reminder that whatever I’m doing on my creative path is okay.  A writer and an artist, Austin filled this little book with visual manifestos of why it’s okay to, “…embrace influence, collect ideas, and remix and re-imagine to discover your own path.”  Nothing’s original, so stop trying to create something no one else ever has.  Just start creating things in a WAY that no one else has.  All that time I spend on Pinterest feasting on ideas and inspiration?  It’s a perfect way to spend a morning and I’m totally going to start counting it as creative time.  Sure, the question is whether or not I will every do anything with the thousands of ideas and projects there waiting for me but I’d like to believe that I will.

When I do, I hope I can keep reminding myself of this sentiment and keep it rooted in originality.

From the archives: Empowering wives to joyfully serve (!?!)

Yes, you read that right and no, I didn’t drink the kool-aid last night.

I was poking around on Pinterest this morning, one of my revived favorite things thanks to the ridiculous convenience of my new Kindle Fire (thank, you baby), and came across the “31 days of love marriage challenge”.  Hmmm…I’m always interested in fun ways that we can enjoy each other and our marriage so I decided to take a look.

After the jump was a blog called Time-Warp Wife: Empowering Wives to Joyfully Serve.  WTF?!!

I started to look a little closer and it turns out the idea of the 31 days of love challenge was created by a group of christian bloggers with the intent for “women to live beyond ourselves, to put aside our preconceived ideas of what romance should look like, and seek out true love that is sacrificial and intentional”.  Okay….a little Stepford Wives but could be interpreted differently.  For example,  I am truly in love with my husband and I sacrifice from time to time to keep him in a good place or to ease our joint household burden.  I do things intentionally that I know will make him happy or help him enjoy life in general.  That’s just what you do when you’re in love….

But wait, what’s this?  “Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”  Now you lost me….

There’s sections for housekeeping, time management, BRIDES IN TRAINING (that one freaks me out the most) and it goes on and on.  I started attempting to read the challenge.  Being of an open mind I can always take the “God” out of things that make sense to me.  I didn’t get very far…

Day 1 – What’s God’s definition of love?

Forget about God, how about having your own definition of love.  For me?  It’s not being able to get out of bed and start the day sometimes because you are so madly, crazy in love that you just want to keep the rest of the world shut out for a little longer.  It’s finding your other half to share in all these crazy adventures – someone who makes you 100 times better when they’re around and who always has your best interests in mind.  It is definitely NOT finding someone that you can serve (unless you’re getting kinky in the bedroom but that’s a whole other story). ugh…

Day 2 – Welcome Home Daddy

“I try to practice self-control and function in the wisdom God gave me by going to bed early so I can rise early to have my praise and quiet time with God.  If my heart and mind are not set on my First Love – the Lord Jesus Christ, then my attitude towards my Second Love – my darling husband, will not be of the Spirit, but of my flesh.”

So many places, where do I start?  There’s the breakfast devotional where everyone eats a small feast mom pulled together, probably after she’s been going already since 5:00AM, while she reads “the word” to them.  Then, when Dad gets home at the end of the day Mom and children take all of his things from him, give him a foot rub and park him in a recliner until the dinner that has been timed oh so perfectly to provide him with a 30 minute respite (per his request, mind you) is ready.  Apparently, this is part of teaching the children to respect Dad.  Forget Dad in this case!!  Sure, he’s been at work all day.  But how about some respect and relaxation for Mom for busting ass to keep it all pulled together like a 1950’s issue of Good Housekeeping! Oh, but that’s the sacrifice part.

All of this comes from Sunny who, by God’s grace and mercy, obediently began her journey towards biblical submission after 5 years of thinking that she was more spiritual than her husband.  This is where I stopped reading.

So, here’s my additional thoughts.

1.  Ladies, if you are doing all of this to support your husband’s spirituality I have a feeling that 50% of you are being had.  If all you do is try to drive your husband’s spirituality forward (and seriously, all your cooking, cleaning, child-rearing, and make-up retouches are the answer?) then yes, you probably are more spiritual than your husband.  You should be allowed to own that, if nothing else, as thanks for your hard work.  I know you’ll say I’m missing the point and, trust me, I am truly grateful for that.

2.  Jesus Christ must have been an ungrateful, disrespectful little brat.  Who the hell do you think brought him into this world?!  Yet the men take the starring role and are expected to be served?  How does that make any sense to any of you?  You’ve been duped – just another point to prove that the bible was nothing more than an effort to control a population, to make people submit to a ruling body and to abide by their rules.  Back in the day when people didn’t have any advanced scientific capabilities and everything that happened in the natural world was a scary thing that had to be explained it may have had it’s place for some people.  Today it enrages me to think that people still heed these words as written without any modern interpretation.

3.  While you think your love is of the spirit and not of the flesh, I feel sorry for those of you who in your ever submissive state are probably raped repeatedly by your husbands.  How can that possibly be, someone may say.  I won’t even expound on this idea because you know and everyone else knows.

What makes it all worse?  These are the people that a large portion of our population want to select to run our country!  I don’t believe that there is an absolute direct correlation between this whole submission movement and the Mormons or the idiots that the republicans have running for office but I do believe that Christianity all boils down to a lot of the same basic principles.   I will always fight to keep your beliefs out of my politics.  You have no right.

Now, get this…I, too, have beliefs.  I believe there are things greater than we can understand at work sometimes and whether they are scientifically based or supernaturally based I have no idea.  I believe in fate and destiny but I believe that it is a product of my own actions and choices and I will absolutely refuse to just  sit by and passively accept everything that happens to me, assuming that it is the act of some single, supreme being that I am supposed to trust implicitly.

Guess what else?  I believe in gods.  All kinds of all pantheons.  I believe they are the embodiment of feelings, actions, or events that just needed, somewhere along the line, to be personified to help people put things right in their mind.  I believe they can act as focal points for things that you want to make happen in your life.  Case in point, our little statue of Ganesha that sits in our office.  It’s a focal point that reminds me that barriers in our business efforts and our lives as a whole can be removed and aren’t absolute.  I cannot, however, assume that will happen without any effort on my part and still be a reasonable person.

Lastly, I believe in love.  I believe in soul mates.  I believe that the feeling I got as a teenager or a young adult watching some cheesy guy-finally-gets-girl teen movie is out there somewhere – you just have to find it.  I always knew, in my heart, that it could be possible.  I always longed for it.  Then one day after 15 years it was standing on my doorstep.  Do I think there were forces at play and strange coincidences that aligned just right to allow for that to happen?  Absolutely.  Whether it was molecular or supernatural or because of the flying Spaghetti monster I have no idea.  I’m also not worried about figuring it out or putting a label on what causes it.  I’m more worried about enjoying it while I have it and encouraging my children to do the same one day.

And speaking of Jimmy Fallon…

If it weren’t for him, we wouldn’t have this AMAZING video of Joseph Gordon-Levitt to enjoy.  I may have posted this already (I know I throw it on Facebook randomly every few months) but it never gets old to me.  And it’s Monday so we could all use a little bit of happy to get the week started.

Happy Monday, everyone!  Boom, boom, boom….boom, b-boom, boom…

How “The Voice” infiltrated my life.

There are two reality contest shows that I would say I actually look forward to watching.  The first is So You Think You Can Dance.  After 13 years of ballet, tap and jazz training as a girl there’s no way I could NOT watch that show.  I feel like every week you get to witness at least one piece of art.  The second is not nearly so noble.  I’m not sure if it really counts since it basically presents the same contenders, or some combination thereof, season after season after season.  Yep – I’m a long time MTV Challenge addict.  While my interest ebbs and flows depending on the castmates signed on to participate in any given season, I think it’s safe to say that it will take a little while for me to walk away from that one for good – unless C.T. never comes back.  That might make it a easier.  But I digress…

Based on the title, though, this post is actually about The Voice – a reality contest that I never expected I would sit down and watch.  I don’t particularly like singing shows.  I have never watched a season of American Idol.  I appreciate the fact that I will never sing like that and that it requires skill, training and practice but I get bored – quickly.  So how is it possible The Voice has managed to work it’s way into my weekly routine?  It’s because of this guy – Brian Johnson.  When I started at my new job back in November, Brian was actually just on his way back from taping the initial rounds of the Voice.  By last month, he was leaving his position at my organization to pursue his music career – making all of us pretty optimistic that he was making it to the live playoff rounds (which I didn’t even really understand at the time).  The energy both from Brian and from the rest of my co-workers about him is contagious.  You can’t help but get wrapped up in the competition and hold your breath waiting to see if he’ll move forward.  Adam Levine hit the nail on the head this past week when he talked about how Brian just truly wants to sing.  If there’s anything that I can say about Brian, just from observing him indirectly for that period of time, it is that he is absolutely everything you see him portrayed as on the show.  He is sweet, friendly, open and authentic.  I’m excited to watch someone so real get to pursue their passion at such a level.

Unfortunately for me, though, this means that every Monday and Tuesday I’ve been on my DVR watching a voice contest that, without Brian, I really wouldn’t have much interest in.  I see the same characters and hear the same songs and approaches week in and week out.  It’s just not for me but somehow it’s insidious.  I now find myself stopping on the radio every time I hear that new Maroon 5 song.  I catch myself singing the chorus to a cover from the prior episode randomly for days at a time.  And I stop to watch videos like the one below, featuring Adam Levine and Jimmy Fallon, when I should really be digging into my jewelry or cleaning the house instead.

SIDEBAR:  It certainly isn’t without reason to think that I actually would have watched this video, regardless of the Voice, because Jimmy Fallon is a genius and anything that is trending that has his name on it is sure to be a win.

So now, I’ll spend the rest of my Sunday trying to get some momentum going.  First I better check and make sure my DVR is ready for tomorrow night, though, with it being the top 12 and all…..