I was poking around on Pinterest this morning, one of my revived favorite things thanks to the ridiculous convenience of my new Kindle Fire (thank, you baby), and came across the “31 days of love marriage challenge”. Hmmm…I’m always interested in fun ways that we can enjoy each other and our marriage so I decided to take a look.
After the jump was a blog called Time-Warp Wife: Empowering Wives to Joyfully Serve. WTF?!!
I started to look a little closer and it turns out the idea of the 31 days of love challenge was created by a group of christian bloggers with the intent for “women to live beyond ourselves, to put aside our preconceived ideas of what romance should look like, and seek out true love that is sacrificial and intentional”. Okay….a little Stepford Wives but could be interpreted differently. For example, I am truly in love with my husband and I sacrifice from time to time to keep him in a good place or to ease our joint household burden. I do things intentionally that I know will make him happy or help him enjoy life in general. That’s just what you do when you’re in love….
But wait, what’s this? “Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” Now you lost me….
There’s sections for housekeeping, time management, BRIDES IN TRAINING (that one freaks me out the most) and it goes on and on. I started attempting to read the challenge. Being of an open mind I can always take the “God” out of things that make sense to me. I didn’t get very far…
Day 1 – What’s God’s definition of love?
Forget about God, how about having your own definition of love. For me? It’s not being able to get out of bed and start the day sometimes because you are so madly, crazy in love that you just want to keep the rest of the world shut out for a little longer. It’s finding your other half to share in all these crazy adventures – someone who makes you 100 times better when they’re around and who always has your best interests in mind. It is definitely NOT finding someone that you can serve (unless you’re getting kinky in the bedroom but that’s a whole other story). ugh…
“I try to practice self-control and function in the wisdom God gave me by going to bed early so I can rise early to have my praise and quiet time with God. If my heart and mind are not set on my First Love – the Lord Jesus Christ, then my attitude towards my Second Love – my darling husband, will not be of the Spirit, but of my flesh.”
So many places, where do I start? There’s the breakfast devotional where everyone eats a small feast mom pulled together, probably after she’s been going already since 5:00AM, while she reads “the word” to them. Then, when Dad gets home at the end of the day Mom and children take all of his things from him, give him a foot rub and park him in a recliner until the dinner that has been timed oh so perfectly to provide him with a 30 minute respite (per his request, mind you) is ready. Apparently, this is part of teaching the children to respect Dad. Forget Dad in this case!! Sure, he’s been at work all day. But how about some respect and relaxation for Mom for busting ass to keep it all pulled together like a 1950’s issue of Good Housekeeping! Oh, but that’s the sacrifice part.
All of this comes from Sunny who, by God’s grace and mercy, obediently began her journey towards biblical submission after 5 years of thinking that she was more spiritual than her husband. This is where I stopped reading.
So, here’s my additional thoughts.
1. Ladies, if you are doing all of this to support your husband’s spirituality I have a feeling that 50% of you are being had. If all you do is try to drive your husband’s spirituality forward (and seriously, all your cooking, cleaning, child-rearing, and make-up retouches are the answer?) then yes, you probably are more spiritual than your husband. You should be allowed to own that, if nothing else, as thanks for your hard work. I know you’ll say I’m missing the point and, trust me, I am truly grateful for that.
2. Jesus Christ must have been an ungrateful, disrespectful little brat. Who the hell do you think brought him into this world?! Yet the men take the starring role and are expected to be served? How does that make any sense to any of you? You’ve been duped – just another point to prove that the bible was nothing more than an effort to control a population, to make people submit to a ruling body and to abide by their rules. Back in the day when people didn’t have any advanced scientific capabilities and everything that happened in the natural world was a scary thing that had to be explained it may have had it’s place for some people. Today it enrages me to think that people still heed these words as written without any modern interpretation.
3. While you think your love is of the spirit and not of the flesh, I feel sorry for those of you who in your ever submissive state are probably raped repeatedly by your husbands. How can that possibly be, someone may say. I won’t even expound on this idea because you know and everyone else knows.
What makes it all worse? These are the people that a large portion of our population want to select to run our country! I don’t believe that there is an absolute direct correlation between this whole submission movement and the Mormons or the idiots that the republicans have running for office but I do believe that Christianity all boils down to a lot of the same basic principles. I will always fight to keep your beliefs out of my politics. You have no right.
Now, get this…I, too, have beliefs. I believe there are things greater than we can understand at work sometimes and whether they are scientifically based or supernaturally based I have no idea. I believe in fate and destiny but I believe that it is a product of my own actions and choices and I will absolutely refuse to just sit by and passively accept everything that happens to me, assuming that it is the act of some single, supreme being that I am supposed to trust implicitly.
Guess what else? I believe in gods. All kinds of all pantheons. I believe they are the embodiment of feelings, actions, or events that just needed, somewhere along the line, to be personified to help people put things right in their mind. I believe they can act as focal points for things that you want to make happen in your life. Case in point, our little statue of Ganesha that sits in our office. It’s a focal point that reminds me that barriers in our business efforts and our lives as a whole can be removed and aren’t absolute. I cannot, however, assume that will happen without any effort on my part and still be a reasonable person.
Lastly, I believe in love. I believe in soul mates. I believe that the feeling I got as a teenager or a young adult watching some cheesy guy-finally-gets-girl teen movie is out there somewhere – you just have to find it. I always knew, in my heart, that it could be possible. I always longed for it. Then one day after 15 years it was standing on my doorstep. Do I think there were forces at play and strange coincidences that aligned just right to allow for that to happen? Absolutely. Whether it was molecular or supernatural or because of the flying Spaghetti monster I have no idea. I’m also not worried about figuring it out or putting a label on what causes it. I’m more worried about enjoying it while I have it and encouraging my children to do the same one day.